


She's Happy When She's Proud

by inthisdive



Category: Disney RPF, Pop Music RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-15 03:25:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7204976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inthisdive/pseuds/inthisdive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(this was written in 2009) "Sixteen, and things are so much brighter - life is too dazzling to stare down directly and Demi has never hated the spotlight when she knows why she has it; she gets swept away and giddy, and the best part is that Selena is right there with her, like it's the thing that makes sense most in the world."</p>
            </blockquote>





	She's Happy When She's Proud

*

 

Demi came out to Selena first, four in the afternoon and raining, fifteen and melodramatic on a   
true lazy Sunday. They'd met in the park when the rain started to fall and Demi is frazzled and   
almost frantic, words tripping over themselves on the way out of her mouth and falling faster,   
faster, until she isn't making any sense at all. 

Selena takes Demi's hands in her own and squeezes as rivulets trace tracks, tear-like, over her   
cheeks, and she's quiet and earnest as she looks into Demi's eyes and says "Whatever you tell me doesn't matter - I love you, I'm here for you," and Demi takes a deep breath. 

Selena gives her courage. With her eyes right on Selena's, she's able to speak and to say it with just the slightest hitching of breath. 

Selena's brow furrows with worry until she does say it, and then she just draws Demi close into a hug. Demi bends her head to duck it into the hollow of Selena's neck, tension leaving the set of her shoulders. 

"It doesn't matter," Selena promises Demi. "You're still perfect."

*

Sixteen, and things are so much brighter - life is too dazzling to stare down directly and Demi   
has never hated the spotlight when she knows why she has it; she gets swept away and giddy, and   
the best part is that Selena is _right there_ with her, like it's the thing that makes sense most in the world. 

The world is easy if you're Demi Lovato and you have Selena Gomez; life is easy if you can sneak over to see her and crawl into her bed and wrap your arms around as her she sleeps. Selena always says the same thing: "Don't wake me up," and Demi always presses a familiar kiss to her cheek and promises "I'm not even here," and Selena smiles like she has a secret. 

They are the kind of girls that forgot life before six and seven and each other; they are the kind of girls for whom best friend is a term that means life, the universe and every last thing in between. 

Demi's not sure when it happened, but falling in love with Selena must have been the most natural thing in the world.

*

Life gets in the way sometimes, and it's difficult to see each other as much as they want (basically 24/7) but they're grownups, right? They can totally handle it. They'll call and text   
and email and call and text and call and call, and maybe it won't feel like there's so much geographical distance between them, sometimes. 

"Seriously," Demi says once, one a.m and well past the time both of them said they needed to hang up, "It's like I'm missing an arm or something."

"It's like I'm missing a _leg_ ," Selena counters, and the girls giggle, serious moment alleviated, at least for a few minutes. "We're so unbalanced!"

"Unbalanced," Demi repeats, and the mood on the line sobers. "That's the word. That's exactly how it feels when I miss you."

Silence, for a moment, then the rustling that Demi just knows is Selena wiping away a tear, and   
then she hears the quiet "I miss you too."

"Call me tomorrow. Love you," Demi says, finger tracing a pattern on her bedsheet.

"Love you," says Selena, and just as Demi lifts the phone from her ear, she hears "Ex-oh!"

And that was how she could stop talking to Selena and still have a smile on her face.

* 

It was meant to be a surprise for Selena, a pure unadulterated surprise: Selena was in Puerto Rico and Demi was working, working, working - but what was a couple of days off in the grand scheme of things, right? Demi had a good work ethic, but she was only sixteen once, and she wanted to see her Selena.

So she went. And Selena had no idea.

Her shriek could have been heard on the other side of the _world_ , and all Demi could do was smile that smile, that big smile, full of teeth, smiling with her whole face, almost until it hurt in the best possible way because there she was. There. She. Was. Selena; perfect Selena, _her_ Selena, with the light in her eyes all but dancing and her hair so impossibly glossy and cute white plastic bracelets up her wrists.

When they hugged, Demi curled her fingers into Selena's hair and stood close and head bent, like always, cheek to cheek, and just squeezed.

"I can't believe you're here!" Selena squealed.

Demi could.

*

They eat outside together that night, curled up on the grass, one blanket beneath them and one   
thrown over their knees. They drink lemonade, and when Selena sets down her mug she curls right   
into Demi's side, ducks her head into the hollow of Demi's shoulder and closes her eyes. Demi looks down at her and smiles. She reaches for Selena's hand, laces their fingers together. 

Everything is quiet, everything it still; Demi feels like she's at peace again. Like she can stand up in the world with her head high again. It's Selena's doing, bringing her back to find her center, follow her bliss.

"I'm so happy with you," Demi murmurs, and Selena nods against her shoulder; her breath dusts over Demi's bare neck and makes her shiver.

"I'm only really me when I'm with you," Selena replies, even quieter than Demi's own murmur, and she shifts her head up, but only a little; she kisses Demi low on her cheek, close to her jaw. Her lips are cold from the lemonade but so soft and perfect that Demi can't help but turn her head, lower it, angle it close.

And then Selena's lips are _right there_ , seriously, right in front of her and she just...   
she just does like they said in the olden days, screws her courage to the sticking place and just _kisses_ her, a real kiss... oh god, a real kiss, where Selena's lips part under hers and she can feel everything, how quickly her breath quickens and gets hotter, how squeezes down tight on their joined hands. How when Demi tentatively touches her tongue to Selena's lower lip Selena actually responds and then - oh god and then she _sighs_ , a tiny perfect little sigh that gets cut off at the end with a hitched intake of breath. She tastes perfect and Demi cups her hand around Selena's cheek and holds her there and she is so beautiful and warm and perfectly yielding that Demi wants to keep this moment, this everything in her heart for the rest of her life.

"I love you so much," Selena says like a gasp for breath, and her eyes are wide and dark, "I just don't know how to - "

"You just did." Demi smiles, a soft and secret smile, and pulls Selena close into a proper hug, all blankets and joined hands and bumping knees. "You said it just fine."

The moon slips behind a cloud and leaves the girls in shadow, but Demi feels totally warm from   
inside, like Selena lit up the brightest candle in the world that will never, never blow out.

*


End file.
